When Family Dynamics Disrupt the Business: Insights from the EOS Table – Part 1

The quarterly EOS session had been going smoothly. The leadership team was engaged, focused, and aligned—until we started prioritizing the Rocks for the upcoming 90 days. In an instant, the atmosphere shifted. Tension crackled across the room as two family members—siblings—launched into a volley of pointed barbs and finger-pointing rooted in past grievances. The rest of the leadership team, most of whom were not family, went silent. Some fidgeted uncomfortably. Others looked down, disengaging from the process.

Unfortunately, this isn’t uncommon in family businesses. The emotional undercurrents that come with shared history can resurface unexpectedly and derail even the most strategic conversations.

As an EOS Implementer who specializes in family businesses, I see this often: strong, capable teams thrown off course not by market forces or competition, but by unresolved family dynamics. And yet, family businesses remain some of the most resilient and impactful organizations in the world.

The Power—and Pressure—of Family Business

Family businesses are the backbone of the global economy:

• They employ 50–80% of the global workforce.

• They contribute 60–70% of global GDP.

• They make up the majority of small and medium-sized enterprises.

Beyond the economic statistics, they bring unique strengths:

• Resilience in times of crisis.

• Agility in decision-making.

• Deep emotional commitment to the mission.

But let’s not sugarcoat it: it takes work. And that work is more than strategic planning and quarterly goals—it’s interpersonal. Family businesses are made up of people with history, emotion, and, yes, baggage. Old wounds don’t stay in the past; they walk into meetings, sit at the table, and if left unaddressed, hijack the conversation.

What Happens When Conflict Goes Unchecked?

Back to that quarterly session. What began as a debate about priority projects quickly escalated into a rehashing of past mistakes—blame over a failed initiative from two years ago, bitterness over who was “right” during a difficult hiring decision. These unresolved emotions acted like grenades in the room. And what was supposed to be a strategic alignment session turned into a battle zone.

This dynamic doesn’t just create emotional discomfort—it erodes trust, diminishes engagement, and stalls momentum. Non-family employees often feel caught in the crossfire, unsure of how to contribute or speak up. In the long run, it can cost the business top talent, innovation, and even customers if the dysfunction seeps into operations.

How Do You Stop the Spiral?

Working through these issues is not about pretending the past didn’t happen—it’s about building the tools to move forward constructively. Here are a few ways to start:

1. Get to Know Your Triggers (and Theirs)

Family members bring their full emotional history to the table—childhood roles, unresolved grievances, perceived slights. These don’t vanish in a boardroom. Becoming aware of what sets you off—and what might trigger others—is the first step to interrupting the cycle.

Resource Tip: Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence is a great book to help with this assessment.

2. Pause Before Reacting

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to assume the worst. But often, what we think we heard isn’t what was said. Taking a beat before responding can shift the dynamic dramatically.

Try This: When you feel triggered, pause and ask, “Can you clarify what you meant by that?” Nine times out of ten, the tension diffuses when people feel truly heard.

3. Remember: You Can’t Read the Label from Inside the Jar

When you're part of the family, it’s hard to see the patterns clearly. That's why a third-party perspective is not just helpful—it's essential. Someone outside the family system can help you surface hidden dynamics, reframe emotional narratives, and facilitate more productive dialogue.

As an EOS Implementer with a focus on family businesses, I not only help your leadership team set goals and build accountability—I also help you navigate the human side of family business. With structured tools, disciplined conversations, and a neutral stance, we create space for growth without judgment.

Why It Matters

The stakes are high. Not just for the quarterly Rocks, but for the legacy you’re building. Family businesses have the power to endure across generations—but only if they do the emotional work necessary to keep the team aligned and the mission intact.

If your sessions are stalling, if your team is avoiding the tough topics, or if old stories are taking the reins, don’t ignore it. Let’s talk. Together, we can move your family business from reactive to resilient.

Ready to get unstuck?
Let’s have a conversation.